Why I hated New Year’s Eve and why I don’t anymore

I used to loooooove New Year’s! As a kid, it was always exciting, I could stay up late; there were fireworks and music and food. When I got older, I would celebrate the ringing in of a new year together with all my high school classmates which was fun. I also happened to have my first kiss on a New Year’s Eve so it’s been a special day to me for a long time. Then things started to change, I quarrelled with many of my classmates (it has gotten so far that I don’t speak to most of them now) and since I’ve graduated most of my friends left for different universities. Feeling lonely and not knowing what to do for the last day of the year, I slowly grew an aversion against it.
The problem is, I (and I believe many others) put too much focus on that one day and sometimes reflecting on a now almost finished year, it leads you to only remember the bad things that have happened: things you didn’t accomplish, personal struggles, fights, death and they all suck. Often I would get caught up in regret over all these things and would instantly assume that it would not change for the better next year but get worse (I know, I am very dramatic – last year I decided to “skip” New Year’s and went to bed before midnight, mainly to prove to myself that I did not consider it an important day, when in reality I so did).
But now I realized that this is wrong. There were good things and although this year might have been especially tough for me, life goes on. To be honest, I just had this realization about an hour ago.

Normally I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions. Partly because I think they are a bit redundant as most people wind up not doing even half of the things they planned to (in my case it would most likely be none) but I vowed to myself just now that this time I (sort of) would. However, I won’t set myself any specific goals (such as by the time of … this and that should have happened/ been done etc) but be more general.
I will try to be more positive. Unfortunately, I’ve always been somewhat of a pessimist and took pride (yes, weird I know) in that “the glass” would always be half empty for me but it has hit me that as I am responsible for my own happiness instead of external factors, I will have to change my state of mind to achieve it. It may sound embarrassing but I do have a “motivation board” hanging in my room and one “meaningful” picture it says “We view the world the way we choose to” – Needless to say until now I’ve mostly ignored it but it’s actually true. If you are not positive, you will not notice or appreciate the good things in life.

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So, to wrap it up, I am really looking forward to the new year and wish all of you a Happy New Year and a great New Year’s Eve!!!

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