Lately I’ve been struggling with one thing – one question, really – which has kept me from blogging:
Why would anyone want to read what I’ve got to say?
I don’t live an exciting ever-changing life, I’m not some genius whiz kid nor am I overly artistic or talented. I have not seen outstanding things in the course of my life. So what am I actually doing?!
I love writing: personal diary-keeping, texting and writing letters/postcards, public writing like on here, and yes, sometimes stuff for Uni. This is what I eventually want to do with my life but I too often feel self-conscious about my writing chops and the relevance of what I’m writing about. But what exactly makes something worth sharing or publishing? And should one, in this case I, really base what to blog and post on what others would like to read? Shouldn’t it be the other way round: me feeling the urge to jot down my thoughts and throwing them out there? Readers’ reaction would be out of my control, anyway. On top of that, I am writing for myself. Sure, it’s nice to know people read (and maybe like) what I’m rambling about but at the end of the day I don’t want that to dictate how I will proceed with this blog.
Another thing that sometimes hinders me from writing perhaps more original posts is that I’m still worried about opening up. I’ve already blogged about this months ago but, apparently, I’ve not progressed since then. I know it would be easier to stop caring what others think of me but I do occasionally find myself hesitating before posting something: do I really want people to know about this? Though I do feel pretty comfortable in the blogging community and definitely got some bloggers I feel connected to whose posts I read and they do mine, I worry about people who actually know me in real life. What they’ll think. But I’ve made that decision to stop being so secretive about my blog a while ago and now I’ll just stick to it. Also, isn’t that essentially what writing’s all about: you’re expressing your thoughts and everybody’s finding out about it.
What I have now come to realize is that it’s necessary to really value one’s own voice to be a good writer. And that entails considering my thoughts and opinions worth sharing. And not caring whether others will judge, laugh, or disapprove. Obviously, I’m not going to be completely at ease doing so right away but I will work on myself as this blog is important to me.
Taking Sylvia Plath’s advice, I’ll try and not let self-doubt interfere with my writing.